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" Heather said, drying herself off before laying out."That would be pretty amazing. How's that possible?" Lynn asked, curiosity getting the better of her."The old fart has a thing for spanking schoolgirls. You should see the stuff he looks at on his computer."That got Lynn's full attention. "You're shitting me!" Not a bit. What's with these dirty old men? Can you believe it? Both our fathers. Is it some kind of suburban epidemic?" Heather laughed."So he's spanking you now?" Lynn asked"Just once so far. I hinted at your getting it too." Heather! Please, tell me that you're kidding!" Nope. You inspired me." Heather laughed, stretching out, absorbing the sun."Jesus, Heather! You didn't say anything about Jeff spanking me, did you?"Heather sighed. "I had to do something." Fuck! I'm dead." Lynn groaned."Oh, come on. He's not going to say anything, especially not now that he's doing the same thing. And you told me how after you got yours, he felt so bad he finally bought you that sweet. 5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO1. You live in the centre of the universe.2. Your $800,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBECAaaaah ... Give me a minute here to think ... Gosh, this is hard ... okay, here are some :1. Racism is socially acceptable.2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada...4. You can blame all your problems on the “Anglo A*#!%!”?TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.2. You’re poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.3 No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick...4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA1. Everyone can play the fiddle ... The ones who can’t, think.
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