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No one reads dissertations, much less mine. Christine said, " ... because it's yours." That made me feel more inadequate. Heroes have no flaws.That was my mood when Mimi looked up and waved me over. With her were Elspeth, Evaine, Conrad and someone I did not recognize. I gave the woman my once over out of reflex. Young, well-dressed but not flaunting money, professional, but dressed casually, attentive, poised. It pointed to a high-level bureaucrat, here to see me. It came as an almost physical jolt. This, yet unnamed, woman was here to see me. She was keeping company with Elspeth and Evaine, which likely meant something to do with the Amish.I was out of time. Turning to Elspeth, I nodded. She said, "Senator Robertson, may I present Dr. Siobhan Richards. Jo, State Senator Morgan Robertson." Two last names.That was funny, so I used it as an icebreaker. "Excuse me for laughing. I was just noting that I have two first names, while you have two last names. Perhaps we could swap one. Then. Today, when my life has settled, when my nest is complete, and I have time to think, I spend most of my extra time thinking about you. There is a part of me that longs to break my promises in this life I have chosen. There are several parts of me that want to run away, to you. And yet, another part of me wonders if I am the biggest fool on earth for even thinking you care about me after all these years. I will never know if you only wish to watch me suffer like this, or if you also feel the burning desire to be together, again. It would serve me right if it is merely amusement for you. I loved you with every ounce of my being, from the very moment we became girlfriend and boyfriend as kids. Perhaps it’s biological. Perhaps women can never really shut off that part of us that longs for our first true loves. I’ve had two or three loves since then, but they were easily wiped out of my mind in time. You have been branded into my soul in a way that I don’t understand. If this was 1998,.
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