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I stepped into it, careful not to snag my heels on the material. I zipped myself up, then shook my breasts into place in the dresses bodice. Satisfied I applied my lipstick. The party was in full swing when I arrived, I took the glass which was offered to me, sipped it, as I looked around. I didn’t know anyone, anyone that is except Marta, she had invited me, and I couldn’t see her. I didn’t really know Marta, she was a customer at the hairdressers where I worked, she had been coming in for about a month. The month she had lived in England, since arriving from Latvia. I’d liked her straight away, we’d had the occasional drink, but that was about all. I wandered around, the house was huge, well by my standards. The music was loud, and people danced. I’d been in all of the ground floor rooms, the huge conservatory at the rear, she wasn’t there. A tall dishy guy asked me to dance, we swayed to the music. I felt his muscled arms threw his shirt, god he was fit, and then some. He pulled. He feels beat down by life. Not much in the mood to think about when the days were filled with laughing, flirting, and fun. He has been to enough therapy to know that when he is bummed out that is exactly when he thinks of her the most. She is the symbol of what he wanted – passion, excitement, energy, a challenge, a connection of mind and body. He nods his head when they say, ‘it wasn’t her she wanted, she just represented all of it.’ Given enough time and access it would have happened with any woman. This. Woman. Means. Nothing. He promises to come back to reality, get his head screwed on straight again, suck it up. He does ok for a while but then the numbness starts to wear him down and he lets himself drift. This week is particularly crappy – it’s his birthday. At this time last year he could be with her everyday. If not in person, over Skype. If not over Skype, then in notes and recordings he made to know she was smiling because of him. If not in writing, then he could remember.
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