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Otherwise you would have to listen to them complain, right? That's OK. We tolerate them. They're good for the economy. Even though they drive 40 in the outside lane of a four lane Interstate highway. And even though they put on their left turn signal then drift right across three lanes of traffic. And even when the New Yorkers complain that the bagels aren't as good here, and the New Jerseyites complain that the subs aren't as good. And all of them complain that everything costs so much, even though they don't buy anything unless they have a coupon for it.No, we put up with all that. Because we know that for four weeks every spring, you send us your daughters. The luscious, ripe, juicy fruit of your loins, teeming with unquenchable sexual desire. And for that, we thank you.Oh, I know you think your precious little snowflake isn't like those girls you read about in the news who go off with some guys, get drunk, fuck the entire lifeguard staff and end up floating in the Gulf. You're. Luckily, just then the bus arrived, and I thought, saved by the bell, and stepped aboard, I said my goodbyes, with Aunties words echoing in my ears as she shouted, “Remember our little Promise dear, and what you shouted when you ran off”, I knew what she meant, but dismissed it, thinking it would go away.Later in the evening, I was sat watching a nature programme, when the phone rang, I picked up, and a familiar voice buzzed into my ear like an electric shock, “Ah hello “Sally” can I speak to your mother please, and it went quiet, “who’s that on the phone our Brian, shouted Mother, I paused and stammered erm erm, its Auntie Sheila I think.” Shit I thought she is calling me “Sally” all the time now”Mother came into the lounge and I handed her the phone, "here I’m just going to the toilet”, I said, my stomach was now about to release its contents, as I felt physically sick…I reached the toilet and wretched, nothing, and so I flushed and went to my room, I could here mother saying, “Why.
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