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"I stood there staring at him like he was someone who had just escaped from a looney bin. He saw the expression on my face and said:"Listen Alan, I'm a salesman, a people person, and I built this business by smiling a lot, shaking hands and being an all around nice guy. Oh I know I rant and rave a lot and can sometimes be a bear to be around, but it just isn't in me to fire somebody and I would be no good in crawling to someone, hat in hand, and begging them to stay with us. So you do it. When you are done come on back and we will talk salary, perks and stuff like that." You are serious about this?" Yes Alan, you handle it."As I left Tom's office I pondered on how a bad day could become a good day in such a short time. But then I reined myself in. If I didn't save XYZ for the company my vice-presidency could be gone just as quick as it had arrived. The other problem, firing Chambers, would be no problem at all. I didn't like the son of a bitch and getting rid of him wouldn't bother me. And this zoo tries hard to make them happy and comfortable."We were in front of the wildebeests, gnus, whatever your preference is. This zoo has a small group of them. They're social, and a solitary gnu would be a sad thing. Metaphor. A single Dana could be a sad thing.Petting zoo. "I'm not too old, am I, Ed?" No. Go ahead."So I'm in the fence with a bunch of younger kids, okay, let me say 'children', because there are real kids – baby goats – and adult goats and sheep and ... Ed's over there shooting pictures like crazy."Only time I've been happy with the thought of you kissing somebody else," he laughed."Goats got weird eyes," I said. "Yours are pretty. I could stare for hours..." You stare for minutes, then things get all sticky."Giggle. "Sticky is good!"His cheeks reddened.I dove in. "Really good!"We walked around for hours, sat a bit and drank some horrendously expensive lemonade and ate an equally expensive snack to tide us over until we determined that we were pretty much.
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This anus had clogged it. When the deed was done, we both grinned. We knew we had nailed it.I walked to the side of the stage with her. “Thanks,” I said. “You really carried through that shit.”“No, I was nervous until you hit me with that toilet paper of yours. It put me at ease. I’m helen Miren, im going to be the queen.”“my name is retarded, dont bother learning it.”“didnt you just take a shit?” she said with a sly smile.“i have taken many shits on campus? You probably know me from Rick’s Burgers.”“Oh, did you clogg the urinal there in the summer?”“Nope.” She sighed and then declared in a very enthusiastic voice, “Gosh, Mom, that’s a really big burger!”“Oh, my god. You were the little shit who clogged the toilet!”“i ate too many tacos when acting for the local Local TV spot, but everyone in town kind of knows me from it. They’ve been running unblocking that urinal for 5 years.”“So, I haven’t seen you on campus then?”“Me? No. I’m going to be a freshman.”“Oh, here at the U?” My heart.

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