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Tonight was shaping up to be another huge bore. I take classes at Midland College, sure, but not every night. I’ll spare you the intense details of my night, though there weren’t many. I snacked through the night on microwave egg rolls and pizza and downloaded more music onto my laptop. It was past 3 in the morning before I finally made the decision to settle in for the night. Most nights I didn’t have any impetus for dragging my tired form to bed, but my strong laps in the pool and the still warm sensation of chlorine on my skin bid me slumber. I woke up on my ear. That is to say, I slept on it wrong. The whole morning I spent wandering around the house tweaking it various ways, trying to alleviate the pain. Christina got home about noon. I didn’t bother to check exactly when. ‘So late?’ She looked at me with her head cocked sideways. ‘Long night. Leg injury close to hemorrhage.’ These days she was quick with responses and quick to finish conversation. I didn’t argue with her about. About this time I was called for my second event. The 400 meter freestyle. I wasn't up in the sky this time. I was right there inside my head, watching the guy in the lane next to me pull away. My turns went fine, thanks to the drilling I'd done. I could do those without thinking, without effort. It was just my swimming that sucked. I tried. I really tried. But it just seemed the harder I tried, the faster he went. It was as if my energy was affecting his speed, not mine. I lost by 3.2 seconds. The next closest person was over 5 seconds back, but that didn't help any.I'd had enough. I had my shot at love and I blew it. No reason to obsess on it any further. Time to realize Jill was gone and get on with my life.The pats on the back and "You'll get 'em next time"s were fewer and a lot less sincere. I didn't think I would be out if I got three strikes but I didn't want them just the same.I felt a lot better when it was time to line up for my third event, the 200 meter breaststroke. I.
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