To which the woman replies “Will I be convicted?”Sometimes getting out of bed just ruins the whole day.Don’t wear headphone while vacuuming. I’ve just finished the whole house before realizing the vacuum wasn’t plugged in.It’s okay if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.How’s your day if it’s good you’ll need wine to celebrate! If it’s bad you’ll need wine to feel better!Never walk a mile in my shoes. You will just end up drunk, lost and looking for your shoes.If a woman says do what you want. Do not do what want, standstill. Do not blink. Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments of Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash. It took me a while to get back into the swing of things, but Mathew only called once, and I had told him I was thinking about something and not to bother me. He actually left me alone.I was considering the possibility of either shielding the things that went bad when it encountered the magic field, or maybe releasing only a little magic and keeping it at low levels, so both magic and science could co-exist.I had no idea how much magic it took to affect the components that it did, so this would call for some experimentation. This might take a while. It was the only way I could see bringing magic back into the world. Too many people would die if magic was released powerfully or suddenly. The sudden failure of machinery would be catastrophic. Hell, maybe if it were done slowly, the electronic components wouldn't fry or stop working like they now did. That would be ok, too.Two weeks later I called Mathew."First, I want to know how you are doing, then I have a few things I want to run by.
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