"So, which is it?"I looked at her defiantly. "Seriously? What's so important aboutshattering the rest of me?" If you agree to nurse, I'll let you eat roast beef and potatoes with me,if you don't then it's the pureed chicken and this bottle of formula."I glared at her... I was so mad at her and apparently choosing thepunishment version would make her angrier. It didn't leave me muchchoice. "I'm not drinking any more breast milk! Especially not from yourbreast!"She sighed and brought a bib over and tied it around my neck beforeputting the tray on and setting the bowl of mush and the bottle in frontof me. As she stirred the concoction my stomach did some flip-flops,'That looks awful...' I thought to myself."Open up for the choo-choo!" she told me a second later and brought aspoon up to my lips.I started to say, "Ne..." and it was a mistake as the spoon went in and Iwinced at how awful the texture and flavor was. Another one followed,then another. I reached for the baby bottle, and hoped. None of the talk seemed to have gone the way she had planned. Nothing she had said had come out right, or was understood the way she had intended. She had not controlled her emotions and instead reacted to his rage and anger, with her own anger. In her anger, she had willingly hurt him when she had not wanted or needed to hurt.She had planned to not say anything about her sexual relationship with Rich. Only that it was sexual. Yet, she knew that she herself had been the first to say anything about how their lovemaking was. She had hurt him unnecessarily by doing so. Maybe even hurt him too much to repair. She should not have gone there. That was wrong, very wrong.Driving up the meandering road her thoughts turned to her confused feelings and emotions pertaining to her sexual relationships with both men. Morally, she knew that her relationship with two men was wrong. Yet doing so felt so right. Only during the first few times with Rich had she felt the illicitness of having sex with.
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