He has wrote me poems, planned a holiday to India and planted a commitment tree in the garden. I don't doubt that he's sorry.But he still has to sleep in the spare room while I work on coming to a decision on our future.A big part of me wants to leave him as I understand our marriage will never be the same. Our love has lost its innocence. The wounds of betrayal still fester under the band-aides of hope and forgiveness.There is no point in hiding it, I want revenge. And I want it bad. I want to make Chris feel the same pain I did. I want to make him pay for what he did in every sense. He is going to suffer. He is going to cry.I'm going to break Chris.Only then can we begin to build each other up and realise what we have is worth saving.I'm going to sleep with another man. I want to know what it feels like to make love… no, not love. I want to know what it feels like to have sex. Hot dirty sex. Sex without commitment. Sex without strings. Chris did it. Why can't I?I will.I just need. No one had ever come to visit without calling before hand. I imagine they were afraid they'd find me boning another woman. I laughed as I headed to the front door. They were right to be concerned.I bent to look out the peep hole and immediately stood up straight. It was Mimi Bower and her mother! Now her mother was quite a ways down the list but she was on the list. And really there was no order. It's just a "women I'd like to fuck" list. Kind of like my son's generation's "mothers they'd like to fuck." I pulled on my pecker a couple of times and opened the door just as Mimi was reaching for the bell."Well, Jean and Mimi. The Bower women. Girls night out?" Jean looked half loaded. Mimi wasn't far behind. I wondered if she told her mother I fucked her in the ass? My cock jumped in my boxer shorts, almost visible. I stepped back and bowed at the waist as they stepped past me. Mimi was laughing out loud and it was echoing up and down the hall. I quickly shut the door.I was just wearing.
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