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We had hired a whole chalet for two weeks. I had felt slightly unhappy because I was going on my own and everyone else were in man/woman pairs. When we booked the holiday my then girlfriend had just announced that she was taking a year out to travel and she might look me up when and/or if she came back. I had driven her to the airport in early September. She sent me two postcards and one email that month. I had sent two or three emails a week but stopped after Christmas when she didn’t reply. Now it was January so I assumed I was an ex-boyfriend. I knew she was still alive, well and travelling because I met her parents frequently. She was keeping in touch with them. The atmosphere in the ski-train made up for the mild depression I had felt during a girlfriend-less Christmas. We were in Austria before I expected because I had been enjoying myself so much. We changed to a local train. The scenery in the weak winter sunlight was like the picture postcards. We seemed to be dwarfed by. It wasn't really anticipated at all. Like most people's first time, it was an alcohol-fuelled, spur of the moment decision taken by two people who had suddenly found themselves attracted to each other. It happened towards the end of my first year of university. I was nineteen and, although I wasn't altogether happy about still being a virgin, I wasn't overly concerned about it since a lot of my friends of the same age were in the same situation. I certainly wasn't actively seeking a sexual relationship with anyone. I was, and am, not very assertive when it comes to women. I find it strange that I am relatively confident in so many areas of my life yet find it terribly difficult to make a move on a girl. I always knew I'd much prefer it if a girl would make a move on me. A group of my friends were having a party just before the Spring Vacation, and it was fancy dress. It was called the A-List Party, and everyone was supposed to come as something beginning with the letter A. I.
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