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Another quarter spent on phone calls to friends for help. Should be out there looking. But, two minutes with Body is least I could do. Two minutes to collect self. Apologize. Two minutes to spend on weakness not too much to ask at times like this. Pull out Body’s wallet. Body needs name. Culprits, crooks, criminals, crankheads, call girls… all get pet names. Each gets nickname. Seperates me from them. Takes familiarity, humanity, out of equation. Easier to drop Whorehopper off overpass than Paul Jenkins. Easier to break Dope-Pusher’s neck than John Smith’s. Body’s name is Thomas Coffee. Sixteen years old. Blue eyes. Black hair. Driver’s license expires two days short of one year from now. Means Body… Thomas… means Thomas got driver’s license Tuesday. Address, Social, height, weight… and picture of open eyed smiling Thomas. Should stop there. Quiet part tells me to stop. Loud part wants to know more. Screams in shrill tones in head ‘Thumb open wallet and meet Thomas Coffee.’ Three. Love distorts our objectivity. In fact, I would say that the definition of love is a positive distortion of objectivity fixated on an object or person. So is your world perspective distorted enough that you would kill me? I’ll make the question more tangible… Here’s a knife. I’m going to lie down on that couch and wait. You just need to step up and stab me. No, a gun isn’t the same. It’s too easy for it to go off before you expect it to. I would hate for your trembling finger to accidently set off a gun. You and I both need to know that you meant to do it. That is, if you decide to do it. And no, I won’t put on a blindfold. It is important for you to look me in the eyes and know you are taking my life. This is not a hypothetical situation, you can see the knife. There are no cameras running, there is no one around, except for me, you and your love. Oh, let me pull back the curtain and you can see her through the window. No, the only thing I’ve done to your love is steal something.
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