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But it’s no ordinary top hat. It acts as a gateway to an extradimensional space, allowing me to store several hundred of my closest friends in it. I can also produce almost anything I need from it – like televisions, VCRs, diamonds cut into shapes of contour maps of various states, peanut-butter-powered cars, gasoline-powered hats and wool-knit sandwiches. Plus every time I place this particular top hat on my head, it does something strange. Once it made me One With The Cosmos for the better part of four years, another time it hurtled me forward in time approximately fifteen years (safely past the Disco era, thank you for asking) and shortly thereafter granted me the ability to fly (it is worth mentioning that when the hat grants me a power, it is usually temporary, but in this case it was permanent). Normally Newton’s suggestion might have been accurate but my hat hung upon a hat-rack in a corner of my bedroom. And I hadn’t worn it since the night before when it doubled the size of. I walked up to the little group and said:"You're in the way Oz. The lady and I want to go in that door." You can go, but we ain't done with Miss Piggy." Miss Piggy?" Yeah. What else would you call a girl her age who runs around in pigtails." Maybe you could ask her what her name is and call her by that. Move." You going to make me?"I turned to the girl and asked her if she would please hold my books. I could see that she was scared, but she nodded her head "yes" and I handed them to her and turned back to Oz."Yes Oz; if I have to I will."He sneered at me and looked at Dick Reed and Phil North and back at me and I could see that he was thinking "Three against one – a piece of cake" but when I stepped toward him Phil and Dick beat feet into the school. They didn't want any part of a fight on school grounds.Oz was a bully, but he wasn't stupid. He had fought me before and he knew I wouldn't quit and that it was likely that the fight would still be going on when some teacher came to see.
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